good.

Thanksgiving week, my mom made the 9 hour journey from Wichita, KS to St. Paul, MN to spend the holiday with her 3 daughters, son in-law, and 3 grandsons.  It had been 18 months since I personally had seen my mom and it was good to able to hug her.  I still had to work that whole week since I didn’t know she was coming up until it was impossible to request the time off.

But we found a time Wednesday night before Thanksgiving to spend the evening eating juicy bacon cheese burgers and drinking house-made ginger ale and discuss everything about life.  We talked about the usual things you talk about when you catch up, but quickly our conversation led to relationships.  Over the past 2 years, my marriage had been struggling, my relationships with my sisters left something to be desired, and I barely got along with my husband’s family long enough to get through a meal without becoming physically exhausted.

But how things have changed in most aspects in the past year.

My marriage is steady and strong.  We’ve finally ready to come out of survival mode, and start thriving.  Instead of just trying to figure out how to get through the day after his mental break, we are able to plan for moving to a new home come summer and faintly discuss more babies in the next few years.

I had long ago learned that my parents are just people, with their own lives and needs.  That holding onto my expectations of what I thought they should be, would only hurt my heart.  Since letting those go, I have realized that I am not loved any less by them because I don’t speak or see them daily, and speaking with them every few weeks was okay.

The best lesson I have ever learned that it’s entirely possible to love someone and not like their choices or behavior.  I love my sisters deeply and so glad that they are now my very best friends.  I don’t necessarily agree with something they choose for themselves, but it’s their choice to make.  I can’t imagine going a day without at least sending a quick text or funny meme to them.

When Mike and I first married, I had imagined my relationships with my husband’s family to be quite different than they currently are.  I have personally struggled to find my place and my comfort with various members of Mike’s family.  But I have come to a place of acceptance that things are just going to be the way they are, and that’s okay.  At times I still find these relationships to be emotionally draining, but I can now get through a family event with a smile on my face and my dignity intact.

Relationships are funny that way.  How they can go from almost nonexistent or tumultuous to being good.